two weeks ago, even a week ago, my brain was full of Big Snazzy Plans subtitles under College.
well, it’s friday, and this week has been more than i ever hoped and yet very, very different than anything i had expected or wanted before.
a list of facts:
1. i have never been a homebody.
2. everyone is telling me i can’t do it.
3. God is on my side.
now let me explain:
#1- i’ve always been like HECK YES COLLEGE IM GONNA PARTY ALL. THE. TIME. AND GO OUT 24/7 AND MEET A BILLION PEOPLE AND GET NO SLEEP.
and let me tell you, it’s been awesome. i’ve met a million amazing people. i’ve done so many hilarious spontaneous things and i’m in love with how crazy my life has become.
buuuut i have 0 fomo. which is weird, because i’ve always had fomo. but i’m chill to go out, i’m fine to stay in alone in study, or just party it up with a few of my roommates or just talk until 2am.
maybe it’s maturity, maybe it’s trying not to be overwhelmed, or maybe it’s just me growing more into myself. but ya know what, i’m ok with it.
#2- i’m taking chem 105, which is a ridiculously hard course (that’s available to freshman haha) and everyone is like “oh my gosh you’re gonna die, yikes, good luck, etc.” i’m also taking a religion class, which takes up about 2-4 hours out of my day that could be used studying for chem.
i’m working 7-13 hours a day on schoolwork. i haven’t been getting enough sleep. i’m a little overwhelmed.
#3- but ya know what? i’m gonna do this. my mom always taught me that ATTITUDE IS LITERALLY EVERYTHING, and it is. and i’m gonna do this, and i’m gonna be fine. God stands behind me and He is lifting me already, and will continue to lift me always, forever and ever.
it’s important to remember that sometimes we change in unexpected ways. and just because they’re unexpected, it doesn’t mean that it’s wrong, or sad, or difficult. growing into ourselves is a process, and one that takes time and sometimes letting go of what you thought. but you’re always going to be you, and the people that really love you will always be there.