it’s been a while since i cried over it. it’s been a while since i really felt it, deep down, the pain and the hurt and the confusion. 

i had to leave my best friend. my team. my coaches. my ward family. i had to leave my grandparents and their house in the hill in the mountains. i had to leave their four wheelers and cows and cousin laughter. i had to leave everything i’d ever known. i left the fields id drive by every day, the dirt roads our feet pounded day in and day out. i had to leave the school that i loved, the land that i knew. i had to leave it all. 

i miss my best friend. i miss sharing the milestones in our lives. last race. last concert. graduation. i don’t wanna do it without her by my side. but i have to. 

i haven’t got a choice, because she’s 2000 miles away in the place that holds my heart. 

it’s been a while. i guess sometimes when you get happy in a place, and you really are starting to feel like YOU and are feeling ok… sometimes i guess it’s just gotta hit you a little bit, just to remind you that you’re human and being sad is ok sometimes and we can still move forward in the times where our heart hurts. 

i know God has a plan for me, and for her. i know our story isn’t over. it’s far from over- we’re only 18! šŸ™‚ it’s hard sometimes, but i have to trust God. i have to trust that He knows what He’s doing, and that i’m where i’m supposed to be right now. 

even if it’s 2000 miles away from the place that owns my whole heart and soul. 

(colorado in one memory: king soopers, past 9pm, barefoot, with sierra, buying blueberries and kid cereal)